Archive for May, 2008

Withdrawl #2
May 29, 2008

T: hello

T: you silly goose!

T: where you is?

T: where mah bitch(es) at

T: seee….this is the problem

T: YOU are never online when I am

T: all your fault

T: how is my bracelet coming along?

T: are your wrists nice and warm?

T: FINE

T: be that way

T: I have sat here interneting for 20 minutes

T: *sigh*

T: you don’t love me anymore do you

T: you are so distant

T: we never talk

T: is there another buzzin?

T: I won’t be mad, I just want to know the truth

T: THERE IS ISN”T THERE

T: after all we have been through

T: *sniff*

Withdrawl
May 29, 2008

Y: YOU THERE?

Y: I’M GOING THROUGH WITHDRAWL!

Y: TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

Y: i hate you

Y: kidding! i love you! come back!!

Y: don’t be mad at me

Y: I’m sorry for whatever i did to offend you

Y: look, i’m making a friendship bracelet!

Y: FOR YOU

Y: does that not show love?

Y: still mad?

Y: how about if i go on and make that killer shower curtain?

Y: heh heh?

Y: i’ll even use pink!

Y: bah

Y: forget it

Y: i don’t like you anymore

Y: you’re no longer a buzzin

Y: fuck you and your dirty pirate hooker husband

Y: no, no, no!

Y: i kid!

Y: you’ll always be in my top 8

Y: one day you’ll have to talk to me again

Y: and on that day i will fart in your general direction

Y: cuz you suck donkey balls

Y: *sigh*

Y not wake up
May 12, 2008

Y has been visiting me (T) since Friday. Today is the only day we have alone together and she is sleeping. She has 10 minutes until I go Jigglypuff on her face.

Ghetto
May 4, 2008

T: I will drive us through where we used to live

Y: sweet!

T: we will pass it on our way back from the airport

Y: we won’t get shot at will we?

T: naw

Y: damn.

T: you can get more Rap Snacks

Y: i always wanted to be in a drive by

Y: nice!

T: well, we might get lucky

Y: if only society continues to decline. i’ll cross my fingers

 

Gone
May 1, 2008

T: you still there?

Y (10:22:33 PM): psyhically, yes

Y (10:22:43 PM): god, that looks so wrong

Y (10:22:58 PM): physically

Y (10:23:05 PM): physicallish

Y (10:23:07 PM): lol

Y (10:23:11 PM): and the wine is gone

T (10:23:20 PM): aww

T (10:23:25 PM): why is the wine always gone?

Y (10:23:32 PM): cuz i drink it

Y (10:23:33 PM): fast

Y (10:23:37 PM): and with relish

Y (10:23:42 PM): not the pickle kind

Dirty money
May 1, 2008

T: i am trying to balance my checkbook and it is taking forever

Y: i’ll help. YOU’RE BROKE

T: yea thanks, lol

Y: well, that’s the conclusion I always come to

T: i better not be – I don’t get paid again until after you go home

Y: yikes

Y: speaking of $150 i almost threw in the washer

Y: i just remembered it was in the pocket of my jeans i wore today. that would have sucked

T: a check?

Y: no, cash

Y: from C

T: then it would have been clean

Blood cells
May 1, 2008

T: what happens if you drink while you are on antibiotics?

Y: your white blood cells will attack the red wine

T: what if i am drinking white wine? does it happen the other way? red blood cells attacking the white wine?

Y: sounds reasonable

Y: are there beer cells?

T: no, i see a flaw in your logic now

Dirty Pirate Hookers
May 1, 2008

T (10:39:13 PM): F looked over at me tonight during dinner and said something like “I am so excited for you.”

Y (10:39:20 PM): aww!

T (10:39:29 PM): in fact he just came out and said “who ya chatting with?”

T (10:39:56 PM): I said Y and he goes “is she excited? are you excited? are you both just like ‘AAAAAAAHHHHHH!'”

T (10:40:01 PM): I nodded excitedly

Y (10:40:20 PM): i’m kind of disappointed he won’t be there to pick me up with you. i bought an eyepatch

T (10:40:24 PM): haha

T (10:40:29 PM): we will pick him up from work

T (10:40:37 PM): you can present it to him then

Y (10:40:44 PM): even better! now the people at the airport won’t think i’m crazy

T (10:40:54 PM): and none of the girls are going out with us – mother’s day bitches

Y (10:41:05 PM): damn, now i need an eyepatch

T (10:41:08 PM): lol

Y (10:41:12 PM): fuck those sluts

T (10:41:15 PM): but you will get to meet them

Y (10:41:19 PM): it’s ok, i work alone anyway

T (10:41:25 PM): because, F and i work at the same place

Y (10:41:30 PM): i know!

T (10:41:34 PM): i know you know!

T (10:41:41 PM): it’s all so exciting!

Y (10:41:45 PM): that will be my ‘PROFESSIONAL’ outfit day

T (10:41:57 PM): it doesnt matter, they have all seen pictures

Y (10:42:01 PM): oh great

T (10:42:05 PM): besides, Friday is casual friday

T (10:42:07 PM): jeans and all

Y (10:42:14 PM): so much for a good impression

T (10:42:17 PM): oh pfft

Y (10:42:40 PM): i don’t care! i’ll be wearing an eye patch and shouting DIRTY PIRATE HOOKERS at them all

Y (10:42:58 PM): and then i’ll ask them to try my magic bathmats

Y (10:43:05 PM): they are all going to want to fuck me

T (10:43:34 PM): thats true

T (10:43:37 PM): F works in IT

Y (10:43:43 PM): ok

T (10:43:45 PM): so the men there are not picky

Y (10:43:55 PM): thanks cuz

 

7am
May 1, 2008

T (10:36:32 PM): sorry again the miles thing didn’t work out

T (10:36:38 PM): didn’t see that shit coming

Y (10:36:49 PM): no big deal. we found a great deal anyway

T (10:36:51 PM): but, it’s probably for the best, since the ticket is like the same price

Y (10:36:54 PM): see, it worked out!

Y (10:37:12 PM): and maybe that plane will crash so it’s for the best

Y (10:37:41 PM): i told you, i would’ve spent $600 in gas driving anyway

Y (10:38:05 PM): now i’ll only spend about $200 in the airport bars

T (10:38:09 PM): right

T (10:38:16 PM): well, at 7am?

T(10:38:18 PM): yikes

Y (10:38:24 PM): ESPECIALLY at 7am

 

Rip currents
May 1, 2008

T (10:24:37 PM): you don’t go in the water without a grownup knowing

Y (10:24:41 PM): lol

T (10:24:47 PM): you know about rip currents?

T (10:24:57 PM): (its that time of year)

Y (10:24:58 PM): is that anything like rip torn?

Y (10:25:08 PM): i assure you i probably won’t swim

Y (10:25:13 PM): i have my hair to think about

Y (10:25:20 PM): it may turn green

T (10:25:30 PM): right, not the pool – the ocean

Y (10:25:32 PM): lol, kidding

Yy (10:25:37 PM): it’ll just be icky

Y (10:25:41 PM): and i don’t like icky hair

Y (10:25:44 PM): i’m a girl

T (10:25:48 PM): Rip currents can be killers. The United States Lifesaving Association estimates that the annual number of deaths due to rip currents on our nation’s beaches exceeds 100. Rip currents account for over 80% of rescues performed by surf beach lifeguards.

T (10:25:54 PM): I am doing my dooty

Y (10:25:56 PM): you’re going to laugh at the extent of my girliness

Y(10:26:08 PM): sweet

Y (10:26:23 PM): then i will go no further than ankle deep

T (10:26:25 PM): I will give you a review when you arrive as to what to do should you find yourself caught in one

Y (10:26:31 PM): which is fine so the sharks don’t get me

T (10:26:34 PM): don’t want you to drown

T (10:26:38 PM): god forbid

T (10:26:43 PM): your hair